The 2012 Monsieur Oscars

Here are the nominees and winners of my alterative to the Academy Awards, which, as usual stay in a restrictive, nonsensical criteria. I tried sorting out my oddball favourites from real, once-a-year-if-we're-luck achievements and in some cases limited myself to the ridiculous 10-nominee limit of the Academy, but sometimes there were just too many great things to laud. So here are my choices for my ideal set of nominees for every category (official nominees excluded) and what might win, but frankly to me, these are all worth a statue. And more. Where I've felt necessary I've added a few words of praise. Some of these things just speak for themselves.

Best Fiction Film
1. Holy Motors
-This was the one film that takes great pains to say something bold and new at every chance. Nothing in this film feels ordinary or bound by tradition. If It's old-fashioned, that's because Carax lives and breathes cinema. No other film was this committed to both a dyed-in-the-wool cinephilia and exploding the rules and conventions of narrative filmmaking.

Runners-up
Deep Blue Sea
Once Upon A Time In Anatolia
Looper
The Master
Lore
Beyond The Hills
Wuthering Heights
Moonrise Kingdom
The Unspeakable Act




Best Non-Fiction Feature
Perhaps Beauty Has Strengthened Our Resolve - Masao Adachi

Runners-Up

Patience (After Sebald)
Miners' Hymns
Crazy Horse
Marina Abramović: The Artist Is Present
Whores' Glory
The Ballad of Genesis and Lady Jaye
This Is Not A Film
The Impostor




Best Short Film
Walker by Tsai Ming-Liang
-I'm afraid I saw only one new short film this year that really made an impression, but it's enough for a decade's worth of them. 




Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson - The Master

-I think this one sort of speaks for itself. He directs the hell out of this film. It's the best argument for a director as artist and storyteller that came out this year.

Runners-Up
Nuri Bilge Ceylan - Once Upon A Time In Anatolia
Leos Carax - Holy Motors
Terence Davies - The Deep Blue Sea
Agniezka Holland - In Darkness
Philippe Grandrieux - Perhaps Beauty Has Strengthened Our Resolve
Cristian Mungiu - Beyond The Hills
Miguel Gomes  - Tabu
Yiorgos Lanthimos - Alps
Cate Shortland - Lore
Andrea Arnold - Wuthering Heights
Peter Strickland - Berberian Sound Studio
Christoph Hochhäusler - One Minute of Darkness
Alistair Banks Griffin - Two Gates of Sleep
Rafi Pitts - The Hunter
Takashi Miike - Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai and Ace Attorney
Christian Petzold - Beats Being Dead and Barbara
Andrew Dominik - Killing Them Softly
Rian Johnson - Looper
Andrew Stanton - John Carter
Ralph Fiennes - Coriolanus
Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg - Kon-Tiki
Andrew Stanton - John Carter
Andrey Zvyagintsev - Elena
William Friedkin - Killer Joe
David Cronenberg - Cosmopolis
Wes Anderson - Moonrise Kingdom
Ben Affleck - Argo
Kathryn Bigelow - Zero Dark Thirty




Best Actor In A Leading Role
Denis Lavant - Holy Motors
-Lavant made his name turning Leos Carax's complex emotions and inner life into a bruisingly honest and quietly hilarious character. Their partnership is one of the most unique in history. Here Lavant is everything: beggar, thief, rich man, father, tinker, tailor, etc. etc. The more disguises he adopts, the closer he comes to discovering something about his art and his director. No other performance this year was this exhaustive and diverse. Close second to Joaquin Phoenix.

Runners-up
Ebizo Ichikawa - Hara-Kiri - Death of a Samurai
-Miike has gotten good, outraged performances from many, many actors over the years, but none of such palpable sadness as Ebizo Ichikawa in Hara-Kiri. Ichikawa's tall, dark and handsome hero has a sad story to tell. While he sits before us telling the story an assembled group of cowardly murderers, he has got the same steely fearlessness and quiet menace as any of Miike's titular 13 Assassins. In the embedded storyline he's a proud father who watches his only daughter fall in love then into unending despair. Those big, gorgeous eyes of his showing the loss of hope in readable terms.

Michel Lonsdale - The Cardboard Village
-As long as I've been going to films, I've been aware of Michel Lonsdale. I first picked him out in Frankenheimer's Ronin and he communicated such age, warmth and wisdom that he must have seemed a hundred years old to me. Every film since then, I grew to appreciate his one-of-a-kind presence and charm. Now that he's finally gotten as old as he always seemed to me, I've come to see his every performance as a gift. I can't wait to see his next in Gebo And The Shadow by my personal lord and savior Manoel De Oliveira, living saint of cinema. In the meantime I have Lonsdale in The Cardboard Village doing heartrending work, fully committed to helplessness in a way I've never seen. Ermanno Olmi has said he won't make anymore films, that Cardboard was a parting gift. Thank heavens he's so generous. Not only did we get a tiny, complicated treat from one of Italy's masters, but one of the greatest and most humane performances Lonsdale's ever given.

Jeremy Renner - The Bourne Legacy
-Renner's performance seems to have been lost amidst a general eye-roll consensus about this film's relative merits. I enjoyed this movie considering it didn't need to exist and Renner's performance is bolder than it needed to be. For the first half of the movie he makes zero attempt at gaining audience sympathy, playing a drug-addicted killer with no friends or family with exactly the ferocity and brusque manner you'd expect from a person who's been through what he has. So it shouldn't be that by the end of the film you care deeply about him and what happens to him. And yet...

Sean Penn - This Must Be The Place
Let's see any actor of Penn's stature and record go for broke in quite such a splendidly queer fashion. Playing Robert Smith from The Cure, bird's nest hair, goth make-up and all, isn't an ordinary career move for an oscar winner, but Penn goes for it. My undying respect is his.

Iko Uwais - The Raid: Redemption
-Proving that to perform in a fight scene takes as much precision as any dance number, Uwais handles his dramatic moments with aplomb and stays in character while performing the most incredible, baroque fight choreography ever devised.

Jason Patric - Keyhole
-Endlessly winning performance from Patric, who too often is given roles that want for humour and grace, which he supplies here by the barrel-full.

Clarke Peters - Red Hook Summer
-Spike Lee, whatever else may be true, has directed some of the most eye-catching performances of the last 25 years. Red Hook Summer feels like a gentler, more welcoming Lee, anchored by Clarke Peters as an unflappable preacher who feels old and behind the times.

Gael Garcia Bernal - The Loneliest Planet
-A great, ego-less portrayal of a very specific kind of man under the worst imaginable conditions.

Channing Tatum - Magic Mike
Emile Hirsch and Matthew McConaughey - Killer Joe
Scoot McNairy - Killing Them Softly
Jamie Foxx - Django Unchained
Martin Freeman - The Hobbit
Toby Jones - Berberian Sound Studio
Keigo Kasuya - Caterpilar
Robert Pattinson - Cosmopolis
Raiph Fiennes - Coriolanus
Mads Mikkelsen - A Royal Affair
Sam Riley - On The Road
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Looper
Matthew Goode - Burning Man
Tomer Sisley - Sleepless Night
Lucas Pittaway and Daniel Henshall - Snowtown
Willem Dafoe - The Hunter
Constantin Cojocaru - Three Days Till Christmas





Best Actress in a Leading Role
Melanie Lynskey - Hello I Must Be Going
-There was no more compelling performance this year. I could not take my eyes off her for a moment. The most honest portrait of a woman in the midst of an everyday crisis. Not only does she get the anguish of loss of control right, she also gets the embarrassment you would feel in such a situation knowing how bad other people in the world have it.

Runners-up

Cocco - Kotoko
-This is a performance that deserves to be called fearless.

Ann Dowd - Compliance
Nadezhda Markina - Elena
Tallie Medel - The Unspeakable Act
Suzanne Clément - Laurence Anyways
Ellen Barkin - Shit Year
Saskia Rosendahl - Lore
Carlen Altman - The Color Wheel
Bojana Novakovic - Burning Man
Rachel Weisz - The Deep Blue Sea
Shinobu Terajima - Caterpillar
Rachel Mwanza - War Witch
Alicia Vikander - A Royal Affair
Stephanie Sigman - Miss Bala
Rachel Harris - Natural Selection
Mélanie Laurent - The Adopted
Victoria Cocias - Three Days Till Christmas





Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Gina Gershon - Killer Joe

Runners-Up

Juliet Binoche - Cosmopolis
Kate Lyn Shiel - The Comedy
Dreama Walker - Compliance
Vanessa Redgrave - Coriolanus
Isabella Rosselini - Keyhole
Blythe Danner - Hello I Must Be Going
Emily Blunt - Looper / Your Sister's Sister
Sophia Takal - The Zone
Isabelle Fuhrman - The Hunger Games
Jodelle Ferland - The Tall Man




Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Tie:
Tom Hardy - The Dark Knight Rises
Jason Clarke - Lawless/Zero Dark Thirty
-I'd more or less sewn this up for Tom Hardy, especially considering he recieved no notice whatsoever for his portrayal as Bane, a villain for me, was the much more quotable, lovable and memorable villain than the joker. Perhaps I'm alone in this. And that's not to diminish Ledger's performance in anyway. It's just that Hardy's my guy and this is some of his most incredible work. But then I rewatched Lawless and saw Zero Dark and realized the guy next to Hardy in the former, the terrifying post-frat boy tormentor in the latter, was a completely mesmerizing force of his own. Whether as a moonshine-ruined bruiser, or a man whose blithe disregard for human life plays comes off like pledge-week entitlement, he has the subhuman game locked down. The best thing I can say for both performers: at their worst, you still want to see them succeed. 

Runners-up
Thomas Haden Church - Killer Joe
Bryan Cranston - Argo
Garrett Hedlund - On The Road
Robert Patrick - Jayne Mansfield's Car
Ray Stevenson - Jayne Mansfield's Car
Bruce Willis - Looper
Pierce Gagnon - Looper
Jason Mantzoukas - The Dictator
Gerard Butler - Coriolanus
Michael Fassbender - Prometheus
Tom Hiddleston - The Avengers/The Deep Blue Sea
Ben Chaplin - Twixt
James Gandolfini - Killing Them Softly / Not Fade Away / Zero Dark Thirty
Leonardo DiCaprio - Django Unchained
Will Forte - Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
Jude Law - Anna Karenina
Matthew Macfadyen - Anna Karenina
Angus Scrimm - John Dies At The End
Thomas Jeffeson Byrd - Red Hook Summer
Jack Huston - Not Fade Away
Matthew McConaughey - Bernie / Magic Mike
Martin Short - Frankenweenie
Mathieu Amalric - Cosmopolis
Kevin Durand - Cosmopolis
Sam Rockwell - Seven Psychopaths




Best Ensemble Cast
Zero Dark Thirty

Runners-Up

Lines of Wellington
The Master
The Dark Knight Rises
Coriolanus
The Comedy
The Avengers
Jayne Mansfield's Car
Killing Them Softly
Django Unchained
Argo
Silver Linings Playbook
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Reality
The Grey
Compliance
Lincoln
Keyhole
Killer Joe
Seven Psychopaths
Damsels in Distress



Achievement in Cinematography
Tie:
Gökhan Tiryaki - Once Upon A Time In Anatolia
Mihai Malaimare Jr. - The Master

Ron Fricke - Samsara

For illuminating the dark on the earth and in the mind. For turning every frame into a work of art.

Runners-Up

Yves Cape - Hors Satan
Jolanta Dylewska - In Darkness
Steven Soderbergh - Magic Mike
André Szankowski - Lines of Wellington
Florian Hoffmeister - The Deep Blue Sea
Doug Emmett - Damsels in Distress
Robert D. YeomanMoonrise Kingdom
Mátyás Erdély - Tender Son - The Frankenstein Project
Dariusz Wolski - Prometheus
Robbie Ryan - Wuthering Heights
Benoît Delhomme - Faust
Philippe Grandrieux - Perhaps Beauty Has Strengthened Our Resolve - Masao Adachi
Eduard Grau - The Awakening
Garry Phillips - Burning Man
Anthony Dod Mantle - Dredd
Rodrigo Prieto - Argo
Christos Voudouris - Alps
Adam Arkapaw - Lore
Marco Onorato - Reality
Rasmus Videbæk - A Royal Affair
Nicolas Bolduc - War Witch
Mikhail Krichman - Elena
Aaron Platt - Shit Year



Best Original Screenplay
Alex Ross Perry and Carlen Altman - The Color Wheel
-No other script this year was this bold. Hand's down. Acidic and hateful from moment to moment, but invincible to its own machinations. Formally, it's beautiful, blissful anarchy. Perry and Altman have not only crafted some of the most incredibly, unbelievable dialogue, but they've turned narrative comedy into a weapon.

Runners-Up

Mark Boal - Zero Dark Thirty
Dan Sallitt - The Unspeakable Act
Yorgos Lanthimos - Alps
Whit Stillman - Damsels In Distress 
Dominik Graf - Don't Follow Me Around
Nadav Lapid - Policeman
Olivier Assayas - Après Mai
Guy Maddin - Keyhole
Leos Carax - Holy Motors
Paul Thomas Anderson - The Master
Ugo Chiti, Maurizio Braucci, Matteo Garrone and Massimo Gaudioso - Reality
Tim Burton - Frankenweenie
Ebru Ceylan, Ercan Kesal and Nuri Bilge Ceylan - Once Upon A Time In Anatolia

Best Adapted Screenplay
David Cronenberg - Cosmopolis
-In short, Cronenberg was the only person who could have done this. He was born to adapt this novel for the screen and make it one of his collection of perfect little horrors. 

Runners-Up
Tracey Letts - Killer Joe
Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews and Michael Chabon - John Carter
Tom Stoppard - Anna Karenina 
David F. Shamoon - In Darkness
Terence Davies - The Deep Blue Sea
John Logan - Coriolanus



Funniest Screenplays
Color Wheel
Pirates! In an Adventure With Scientists
Damsels in Distress 
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
Ace Attorney
Casa De Mi Padre
Grabbers
Silver Linings Playbook
Moonrise Kingdom
Seven Psychopaths
The Five Year Engagement



Achievement in Film Editing
Berberian Sound Studio

Runners-Up
John Carter
Looper
In Darkness
Moonrise Kingdom
Patience (After Sebald)
Coriolanus
Cosmopolis
Keyhole



Achievements in Special Visual Effects
John Carter

For making the impossible possible, without ever taking away from the grandeur of the story being told. For proving that anything is possible on screen.

Runners-Up
The Dark Knight Rises
Cabin In The Woods
Killing Them Softly
The Woman In Black
Coriolanus
Miss Bala
Lincoln
The Raid: Redemption
Kill List
Zero Dark Thirty
Kon-Tiki
Jack & Diane - *Special mention: The Quay Brothers


Achievements in Sound Design/Editing
Berberian Sound Studio

Runners-Up
Just The Wind
The Hunter
Killing them Softly
Wuthering Heights
Two Gates of Sleep
Lore
Perhaps Beauty
In Darkness
Kotoko
Coriolanus



Best Original Score
Tie:
Ryuichi Sakamoto - Hara-Kiri
Jonny Greenwood - The Master

For treating their scores with no less gravity or richness than they would a concerto or opera and still bringing out the best from the material they were provided.

Runners-Up
Metric & Howard Shore - Cosmopolis
Max Richter - Lore
Nathan Johnson - Looper
Hans Zimmer - Dark Knight Rises
Fred Avril, Magnus Börjeson and Six Drummers - Sound of Noise
Michael Giacchino - John Carter
James Horner - Black Gold
David Byrne - This Must Be The Place
Christopher Young - Sinister



Best Original Song
"Who Were We?" - Holy Motors

Runners-Up
"St. Valentine's Day Massacre" - Not Fade Away
"Misty Mountains" - Hobbit
And yeah I know Adele's going to get the oscar, but it's such a good song!
Bonus to Tabu for the use of "Be My Baby" by Les Surfs

Achievement in Art Direction
Tie:
Faust
The Deep Blue Sea

For turning every element in the world of the film into an extension of the protagonists psychological and spiritual evolution and being at one with the story, the era, and the body of work of its creators.

Runners-Up
Holy Motors
Laurence Anyways
On The Road
Not Fade Away
Hara-Kiri
Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists
Ace Attorney
Livide
Sleepless Night
A Royal Affair
ParaNorman
Lore
This Must Be The Place
Casa De Mi Padre
The Hobbit
Wrath of the Titans
The Master
Django Unchained
Frankenweenie



Achievement in Production Design
Tie:
Tabu
Lore

For evoking another era flawlessly, while creating a palpable, dream-like atmosphere completely at peace with its creators vision of the world, with limited means. 

Runners-Up
The Deep Blue Sea
Looper
Elena
Snowtown
Faust
Reality
On The Road
Taste Of Money
Lines of Wellington
Coriolanus
Killer Joe
Damsels In Distress
Après Mai
Shit Year
Cosmopolis
The Dark Knight Rises
A Royal Affair
Argo
Sound of Noise
The Woman In Black



Achievement in Make-up
Holy Motors

Runners-Up
Caterpillar
War Witch
Livide
Kill List
Ace Attorney
Moonrise Kingdom
Coriolanus
The Woman In Black
Killing Them Softly



Achievement in Costume Design
Lines of Wellington

Runners-Up
A Royal Affair
The Woman In Black
Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai
The Master
Holy Motors
Lore
Coriolanus
Après Mai
On The Road
Faust
Moonrise Kingdom
The Deep Blue Sea
Sound of Noise
The Awakening




The Call of the Siren - Screen Crushes of 2012


Lynn Collins in John Carter
Lola Créton in Goodbye First Love and Après Mai
Carlen Altman in The Color Wheel
Isolda Dychauk in Faust
Victória Guerra in Lines of Wellington
Carrie MacLemore in Damsels in Distress
Alicia Vikander in A Royal Affair and Anna Karenina
Kerry Bishé in Argo
Cosmina Stratan in Beyond the Hills
Sarah Gadon in Cosmopolis / The Moth Diaries

If I'd never encountered them before, I'd also say Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook and Melanie Lynskey in Hello I Must Be Going.

I didn't see an Animated film I didn't love, but the academy seems to have them covered. Anyway, Pirates gets my vote for artistry and wit, Frankenweenie for heart.


Best Genre Film
The Raid: Redemption
-For leaving no audience unsatisfied in its pursuit of old-school thrills. For being a competent and engaging work and leaving the audience begging for more glorious carnage. For taking its job as entertainment as seriously as possible, but never losing sight of its goals. And because it fucking kicks ass.

The Woman In Black
John Carter
The Tall Man
The Theatre Bizarre
Livide
Looper
Killing Them Softly
Killer Joe
Keyhole
Django Unchained
Sleepless Night
Prometheus
Lawless
The Paperboy

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