The Phenomena of Verizon Wireless

I went to the Verizon store today to pick up a new phone before going off to school. My old phone was destroyed, probably in a fit of rage against the horrible company that is Verizon (but also certainly not).

First, upon entering the store, I had to ask about getting a new phone. My mom had to provide a whole bunch of personal information, such as her SSN, in order to confirm her account. You think that as a gigantic evil company, Verizon would have some of this stored for easy access. I guessed not. I then went to look at their selection of a dozen or so phones. This was made unnecessarily difficult by a clerk who kept badgering me about all their selection, and suggested I buy an Android after I explained I wanted something very basic. Their entire selection consisted of two main flavours: QWERTY-keyboard flip phones, and some horrible touchpad phones.

All of their selection was terrible designed, unwieldy, and flimsy. There was no exception or alternative to this. When I finally found something that looked half-decent, I was told I needed a $30/month internet plan in order to use it at all. I don't think my cable line at home even costs that much. I can only imagine that all that money goes toward vials of fairy-dust and bathtubs of leprechaun gold. After I remarked about the ridiculous price to the man behind the counter, he suggested I buy a Blackberry. "If you're going to get the internet package," he explained, "you may as well get the very best phone for it. It can even save money on texting, since you can send messages to any friends with Blackberries for free". I don't think I have ever met a single person with a Blackberry, with the possible exception of the abhorrent lifeform called Brendan Nerny.

I eventually settled on the most basic phone available. While we were checking out, I asked about transferring information from my broken phones to the new one. He explained I could only take information off of one, as they could not merge the information. I asked if he could somehow send me the data in some other form (as it should be computer accessible), perhaps over email. He did not respond to this inquiry at all. He eventually transferred all my contacts, but no text messages or images.

A woman in the line next to me then asked if she could access ringtones she bought for her old phone through her new one, which was denied. Why should a person not be able to retrieve such data if it was 1. purchased digitally though a retrievable account and 2. cost $3 and a monthly media access fee?

It's a good thing I had this distraction, since the person helping me was simultaneously talking on the phone and too a very confused man whose new phone was broken the week before he left for Disneyland (I don't think they resolved that issue either, by the way). After about 20 minutes I left with a shitty fucking phone that cost a billion and a half dollars. The end.

Cymbals Eat Guitars

So, I've already told you about this series and showed you Superchunk covering The Cure. Well here's Cymbals Eat Guitars covering Superchunk. I did a poorly shot interview over coffee with CEG last Fall and they were incredibly nice and played a tremendously loud show at Boston University. Enjoy this! It's awesome!

Cymbals Eat Guitars cover Superchunk

Photograph from a Moving Train

What are things that will make you realise?

I call this, what are things that will make you realise? Days are empty, everything is insipid and distant. When things are real, they are too real, they are overwhelming, they are devastating. It is so difficult to pull back, from pain or numb, and remember what it means to be myself.

What are things that will make you realise?

  1. someone telling you "I love you", when it is someone you really want to hear that from them
  2. taking a bath while looking at a book you love but don't want to read again any time soon
  3. sitting on a comfortable chair that you can sink into, in a dimly lit room with steady ambient noise (fan, white noise, noise generator, anything) to block out anything but your own thoughts
  4. lying on your back lost in the woods, looking up at the trees and listening to them creak; especially when it is too hot and humid, or too cold and dry, and you can sit there long enough to forget those things
  5. remembering all the wonderful things, all the things that brought you here, for better or for worse; don't remember in words, look at photographs and walk through your childhood spots and smell old books that were loaned to you because then you will remember that person's faint smell and well as the pleasant odor of stale pages
  6. remember the times you cried, and how things got worse but eventually things went away; especially if you can't cry right now
  7. make long lists of everything you're going to need when you finally run away and nobody will know where you went; did you ever think of running away when you were a small child? what did you decide to bring? better bring it this time, too
  8. think about your enemies from long ago and realise that they weren't so bad after all
  9. think about your enemies from long ago and realise how wonderful things are now that you don't have to worry about them anymore
  10. look at your old drawings, notebooks, read your dream journals, recipes, free verse poetry, look at the doodles you drew in your textbooks and old magazines you kept for one article you liked; be happy that you're sure these things happened
  11. find all the nick-nacks and little things your friends and parents have given you to commemorate something, as a souvenir, as a way of saying, "this reminded me of you"; think about the things you've given
  12. read old love letters, feel your heart flutter again
  13. right now, write down anything that will remind yourself of things that will make you realise.